Focus

 

I saw this chart posted on a Facebook Weight Watcher group and it caught my attention right away. My sister and I just recently had a conversation about this very thing.

She told me the only way to change a behavior is by changing the way you think about the event.

I first began this journey by focusing on maintenance. Yep, you read that correctly. I was focused on maintenance.

1. It was important that I maintain the loss of even a single pound. No matter how far I got, I didn't want to ever go back to where I began. Not ever!
2. I also wanted to eat without having to constantly dwell on food, both what to eat and what not to eat.

When I began, I think my focus was on the left side of this chart for every single item. Setting those two goals was probably the first shift of focus. If you look at the right side, it would be the one that reads "things that I want for myself".

In the past, dieting got harder as time went on. I got impatient and eventually gave up. Each time I gave up I gained back every last pound I had worked so hard to lose. This time things got easier with time - not harder. It still surprises me to say that.

Without realizing when it happened, I noticed I was no longer thinking obsessing about food. I had faith in myself, in the science of how weight loss works, and I could feel how my little changes were taking hold and they were working. I knew impatience had led me to failure before and would again if I didn't figure out how to avoid it. To be patient also meant to accept setbacks as part of the process. (Accepting setbacks were more words of wisdom my sister shared with me years ago. She's pretty smart, huh?)

I Google'd tips on developing more patience. This article helped. It didn't tell me to do A, B, or C but, it gave me a lot to think about. I've gone back to re-read it several times. I started thinking about the situations where I was most patient and compared it to times when I could have done better. What made them different?

Here's what I knew. I'm most patient when it comes to quilting. Some projects get put in "time out" when things aren't working out the way I'd hoped but, I don't get upset and I don't quit on them. I go back later, make a few changes, and try again. I just had to figure out if there was something there that could help me to be more patient with weight loss.

I'm no behavior expert but I think I might understand the reason. Well, maybe. Time will tell. With quilting, I have a vision of how to get from start to finish - even if it means that I have to leave the situation and return later to alter that vision. I have other ideas that might work if the first one doesn't. I know people who are better at it that I can ask questions if I run into trouble. And, I feel confident in my ability to figure it out. (Not cocky but confident. There's a difference.) My only vision for losing weight was an illusive number on the scale. Yes, I knew what I wanted to look like after I lost weight but, I had no vision of the steps in between to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. Consume fewer calories than you expend was always just too vague. I've heard many, many times to set smaller, more tangible goals. I interpreted that as "lose a pound a week", or "log food every day". Smaller goals didn't help me get anywhere, at least for very long. It changed my focus but didn't improve it.

What I needed was to work on one step of the process at a time. I needed a vision of what to do next, just like I do with quilting. Be methodical. That's where my ability to be patient lies. That's my super power.

The first one was to walk a specific number of steps each day. If I could do that, it would get me closer to being healthy. I kept an eye on my calories but, there were so many eating habits I had to change that it was overwhelming and depressing. (Wrong thinking for sure but, that was how I felt at the time.) I began to focus on simply hitting my magic number of steps each day. I accepted the fact that some days life would get too busy (setbacks) but I kept thinking that every morning I begin at zero anyway no matter what I did the day before. It was okay if I didn't make it every single day, I just had to start every day by trying.

Next, I focused on being able to enjoy eating without having to constantly be calculating. I didn't want to make food my enemy. Almost every day I bugged a lady I sat next to at work named Becky about what she ate for breakfast and what she planned to have for lunch/dinner. She was patient and kind. ♥ She looked to be the perfect size so I was interested in how she did it. She told me about eating yogurt every morning and often mentioned eating beans for a meal. I read that protein and fiber worked to keep you from feeling hungry so I understood why her natural eating habits helped keep her fit. I tried eating like Becky. I kept a yogurt I liked in the fridge and blueberries in the freezer. I made batches of a low calorie version of chili and stocked my freezer. Those two little changes - changed everything. I now had two things I actually enjoyed eating and with my chili recipe calculated once, I never had to think about it again. It changed my focus and it worked. I started to live how I pictured I would live when I hit my goal weight.

Just like some people have trouble with credit cards, paying them off then charging them right back up again... if you don't change how you think about the event, you don't change! I have more work to do. As far as that chart above, I'd have to say what I'm working on now is changing from focusing on bad habits to focusing on good ones. I focus too much on bad habits because I often worry about old habits creeping back in. I gained weight back in the past because I let that happen. So, how am I trying to change it and stop worrying? For the last month or two, I began creating and testing more of my own recipes for frozen meals that I can prepare in batches for my freezer. It allows me to still cook Sam's favorites, which are often high in calories, and not have to white knuckle it (another thing my sister cautioned me about). I can just reach in the freezer for one of MY favorites. As a bonus, having several options to choose from without having to stop and cook myself a seperate meal on those nights, frees up a LOT more time to sew! A win/win.

If you're reading this and trying to lose weight I hope you'll really take a long hard look at that chart above. Be totally honest with yourself. Where is your focus? If it's one of the items on the left, how do you change it? Is there something you can DO toward reaching that goal? If there is someone in your life that is successful doing the thing you want to be able to do, be observant. You can learn a lot just by watching the things they do and where they choose to focus.